Jeff Says I Can't

Don't ever let 'em tell you that you can't

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Jeff says that when I have to work on a Saturday, that doesn’t mean I don’t have to wear shoes to work.  Jeff, it’s SATURDAY.  Stocking feet are de rigeur for a Saturday afternoon. 

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In today’s guest post, Josie has been bringing enlightenment to Jamie’s kids - but Jamie’s introducing a crackdown:

Jamie says I can’t teach her kids to burp the alphabet during supper. Oh, sure, Jamie - next you’ll be saying I can’t teach them how fun it is to laugh so hard that spaghetti comes out of their noses!! 

I have often asked myself the question, what would childhood have been without spaghetti stuck in my nasal passages pretty much the whole time?  Nothing, that’s what.  Nothing at all.

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Jeff says I can’t wear a full-body sweater around all day every day. Can and will - I challenge you to put this thing on, experience the warmth and comfort of full-body cable knit, and then put it aside for “normal” clothes.

Thanks to Kayla for her unwitting contribution!

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Meredith brings us a new “Jon says I can’t,” in which Jon shows his bias against outsider art:

Jon says I can’t hand the kids markers and let them do a DIY paint job on my pregnancy belly. Hon, this is just the kind of outside the box creativity our kids will need to compete in the 21st century job market, as proved here: 

http://www.proudbody.com/Pregnancy_Belly_Painting_Kit_s/2.htmHon

Ah, poor Jon doesn’t realize his children are the artist-entrepreneurs of the future. He’ll figure it out once you’re all super-rich.

(Thanks due once again to Mary of “John Says I Can’t.” Without her, we can do nothing.) 

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Jeff says I can’t stay up all night on Sunday to “make the weekend longer.” Sure I can, and you know what else?  Double advantage - I’ll nap at my desk straight through Monday! 

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John and Mary are at it again!  Today, John’s feeling a little under the weather - and apparently, Mary would like him to stay that way! -

Mary says I can’t eat salt-n-vinegar chips to kill the germies in my throat in place of gargling with salt water.  Hey, who’s the doctor in the family?  Me, that’s who.


Now, some might speculate as to whether John’s doctoral degree is in the area of medicine, or indeed in any science-related discipline.  I decline to do so, since the healing power of snacking is a scientific FACT!

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As Friday reaches its peak, I think we’re all in the mood for a little fun.  Well, except Emily:

Emily says I can’t talk like Yoda all day long for Star Wars Day. Underestimate me she does. Understand the power of the force she does not.

Well, Em, to paraphrase the master, Fear is the path to the dark side.  Fear leads to anger.  Anger leads to saying, “You can’t.”  Saying “you can’t” leads to hate.  Going forward, in mind keep that.

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Jeff says I can’t take the day off just to sit on the couch and watch Ridiculousness. Of course you would say that, Jeff - that show is just one long series of daring “Oh yes, I can”s (that - okay, fine - generally end with someone smashing their head into something very unyielding). 

(This is for those among my friend set who maybe have never watched Ridiculousness. It’s America’s Funniest Home Videos on a home-made dirt bike, and also, you’re drunk.  Oh, look, here’s the episode with Justin Bieber in it!)

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Jeff says that vomiting this morning won’t keep me from being nervous before my big speech tonight.  Look, Jeff, I’m gonna vomit when I vomit, and you can’t tell me what will or won’t result, because vomit is unpredictable. 

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